When my friends help me

First of all I wouldn't call myself the luckiest person in the world, since it is unfair for other people. Having friends is good, and that's what you need in our lives. People who are there for you and share life experiences with you. I always see my friends being like my family, who treat and respects me in the same way. Every time I feel down, or turned down, I usually accuse my friends for not doing the right things to me. But, that is not true. More recently, I noticed that there is a gap between my perspective and my friends' perspectives. What I call them neurotypical, or NTs, which means the non-ASD brain.

The difference between NTs and ASD-brain is huge, but still function in a same way. The perspective on communication and interpretation is different. When my friends always try to comfort me every time when I am sad. They are trying their best to work on it, since that their perspective is different. The majority of the time they cannot fix things, because of the way it goes. In the past week I have learned so much about my friends' perspectives, even though I let them get to know my perspective. I feel so happy for them asking me about my perspectives. This makes me feel I am included in their perspective, and the society more.

In the last few days my frustration with miscommunication and body language issues that take toll on my capabilities, my friends always try to make me comfortable. It quite reflective, because they care about my feelings. They are also very curious about my ASD's perspective, getting this to happen. In the last five years, since my undergraduate degree, I never had any opportunity like this today. I feel more confident than before, even when I express my feelings and tell friends (and my family) of why I am in this situation. Today, I see that everybody has their own problems especially the able bodied people; so I am not alone and so do everybody else. This reflects the no normal world.

If the world tries to be normal (which that's unlikely to happen), everyone will still complain about the issues. Many ASD people I met always complain. I know I have complained, because our perspectives, see the world is normal for the non-ASD people. I see that all of my friends have more abilities than myself. I am aware of that. Many times I tend to be jealous or even anxious about something bad to happen. But hey, anxiety happens to everybody these days aye? My friends spoke to me about their anxiety, when come to worry about something that could impact their lives. I am not alone.

I feel special when I share these moments with my friends. It makes me feel mutually closer, by understanding their perspectives more and be very comfortable with many scenarios. I always love to make my friends special, but I struggle trying to do that because of the communication barriers. I turned down a few times when I do the assertive thing, that's where I get jealous or antisocial. That is the challenge because I know they are trying so hard to figure me out. At the same time, I am trying to figure them out! This sounds funny?

So, there are few times I feel a little excluded because of my friends' experiences. I am not trying to say here it is a competition or something, but from my perspective, I feel that the limits on my challenges from my ASD-brain is making it difficult to get the same experience as them. This makes me jealous and anxious. As many you aware that I tend to feel the discomfort that there are things I wanted to do and live with it that would make me happy because my friends have done them. My perspective sees this differently, what that the challenges are on a different difficulty level. I know it is harder for me because of communication barriers. Even though why women turned me down because they heavily rely on effective communication. I thought of this unfair, because like I said before there is no normal world. Nothing is perfect, right?

If you tell me this that is not perfect, to be with someone because of their own problems or barriers. Then why see that so huge deal? So this where I realised that people have their own issues to figure out before learning about other people. So I am not concerned about that anymore because I am thankful for my friends telling me this is not a problem because of their own issues being worked out where it doesn't mean the end of the world. They wanted to work out their own issues before moving on. They want to improve. They do not want to hurt someone else. This is a huge challenge for me, as being an ASD-male because my brain is wired differently than the non-ASD people.

I am thankful for the support.
I am thankful for caring me.
I am thankful to have an opportunity to share experiences with you.
I am thankful of enjoying time with you.
and, I am thankful for being me.