When my friends help me

First of all I wouldn't call myself the luckiest person in the world, since it is unfair for other people. Having friends is good, and that's what you need in our lives. People who are there for you and share life experiences with you. I always see my friends being like my family, who treat and respects me in the same way. Every time I feel down, or turned down, I usually accuse my friends for not doing the right things to me. But, that is not true. More recently, I noticed that there is a gap between my perspective and my friends' perspectives. What I call them neurotypical, or NTs, which means the non-ASD brain.

The difference between NTs and ASD-brain is huge, but still function in a same way. The perspective on communication and interpretation is different. When my friends always try to comfort me every time when I am sad. They are trying their best to work on it, since that their perspective is different. The majority of the time they cannot fix things, because of the way it goes. In the past week I have learned so much about my friends' perspectives, even though I let them get to know my perspective. I feel so happy for them asking me about my perspectives. This makes me feel I am included in their perspective, and the society more.

In the last few days my frustration with miscommunication and body language issues that take toll on my capabilities, my friends always try to make me comfortable. It quite reflective, because they care about my feelings. They are also very curious about my ASD's perspective, getting this to happen. In the last five years, since my undergraduate degree, I never had any opportunity like this today. I feel more confident than before, even when I express my feelings and tell friends (and my family) of why I am in this situation. Today, I see that everybody has their own problems especially the able bodied people; so I am not alone and so do everybody else. This reflects the no normal world.

If the world tries to be normal (which that's unlikely to happen), everyone will still complain about the issues. Many ASD people I met always complain. I know I have complained, because our perspectives, see the world is normal for the non-ASD people. I see that all of my friends have more abilities than myself. I am aware of that. Many times I tend to be jealous or even anxious about something bad to happen. But hey, anxiety happens to everybody these days aye? My friends spoke to me about their anxiety, when come to worry about something that could impact their lives. I am not alone.

I feel special when I share these moments with my friends. It makes me feel mutually closer, by understanding their perspectives more and be very comfortable with many scenarios. I always love to make my friends special, but I struggle trying to do that because of the communication barriers. I turned down a few times when I do the assertive thing, that's where I get jealous or antisocial. That is the challenge because I know they are trying so hard to figure me out. At the same time, I am trying to figure them out! This sounds funny?

So, there are few times I feel a little excluded because of my friends' experiences. I am not trying to say here it is a competition or something, but from my perspective, I feel that the limits on my challenges from my ASD-brain is making it difficult to get the same experience as them. This makes me jealous and anxious. As many you aware that I tend to feel the discomfort that there are things I wanted to do and live with it that would make me happy because my friends have done them. My perspective sees this differently, what that the challenges are on a different difficulty level. I know it is harder for me because of communication barriers. Even though why women turned me down because they heavily rely on effective communication. I thought of this unfair, because like I said before there is no normal world. Nothing is perfect, right?

If you tell me this that is not perfect, to be with someone because of their own problems or barriers. Then why see that so huge deal? So this where I realised that people have their own issues to figure out before learning about other people. So I am not concerned about that anymore because I am thankful for my friends telling me this is not a problem because of their own issues being worked out where it doesn't mean the end of the world. They wanted to work out their own issues before moving on. They want to improve. They do not want to hurt someone else. This is a huge challenge for me, as being an ASD-male because my brain is wired differently than the non-ASD people.

I am thankful for the support.
I am thankful for caring me.
I am thankful to have an opportunity to share experiences with you.
I am thankful of enjoying time with you.
and, I am thankful for being me.

The aspect of my life

THE ASPECT OF MY LIFE

Written by Mathew Townsend

Age: 24
Occupation: Postgraduate student at The University of Queensland
Awareness profile: Hearing loss - profound (right) to severe (left); low level spectrum of ASD.

Life goals:

• Sustainable Development/Environmental Manager
• Role model 
• Family and children
• Living off-grid

What is the story of my world?

Perspectives. This is a big influence on my life. Critical thinking, problem solving and assertiveness is one of the major factors I face everyday. Hearing loss at the same time of having a mild case of ASD is challenging with the crowd of strangers, friends and families. I am curious when I'm learning about something, being extroverted, to my family and friends of their lives is that something I enjoy company with. Misinterpretation and miscommunication are the biggest influence in my relationships and friendships. The way I see and think is different to the majority in a same point.

But, the barrier are the criticisms and assumptions. From my perspective; misinterpretations of body language, facial expressions and listening to people are falsely dichotomous. These are my weakness in terms of communication, verbally and non-verbally in conjunction to cause discomfort of able bodied friends, families and strangers. Since when falsely dichotomous, the development of relationship and friendship comes to the halt.  This is where misinterpretation occurs. I may see them offensively, but when I spread awareness, it make others to feel offended.

Why? A disability doesn't mean we are different unless we think differently. My brain is wired in this way. Autistic brains are part of 'rewired' thoughts and interpretations of the external world. But this is based on different levels. My level is mild, but the reaction process is evident based on the able bodied perspectives. The next section will highlight my examples of the scenarios where the issues occur and what should have happened.

The specifications

1. I am socially curious: in relation to my hearing loss, I am always curious about wanting to know what is 'going on'. In many situations I tend to miss a lot of information, my behaviour becomes reflective of the situation when I am asking people questions about what is going on and why is this happening. This often misinterpreted as stalking.
2. I enjoy conversations within myself: this leads to social misinterpreted as self centred or self hypothetical by the able bodied people. Many people like myself enjoy being engaged in conversations because my mind feels comfortable. These scenarios can be evidently made others feel uncomfortable, depending on the topic, but mostly move on, such as walking away from the situation which it appears to be rude.
3. Sorry, I can't hear: yes indeed that my hearing loss can cause miscommunication when engaging conversations. When people see me wearing hearing aids and come across say I have a superhuman hearing. This is a common sense mistake, when able bodied people fall into reality without acknowledgement of awareness. Hearing aids helps me to hear the sound, but it does not mean I can hear the speech clearly.
4. I want it too: this often mistaken as desperate. My ASD traits usually makes me think harder about facing the challenges of wanting to have something, or get involved. This is also seen as jealous. This is because my mind tells me it is difficult to overcome, as it is a multi-case scenario when it should happen. For instance, I want to be in a photo too, so I know I am involved; or I would like to have a girlfriend because I like sharing experiences with someone. I am entirely uncertain of what the able bodied perspectives on these scenarios, but I would like to hear from those.
5. What is going on?: this is a similar case for socially curious, but it about the body language, facial expressions and social circle movement. From my perspective, I am not confident of this because of anxiety which is part of ASD's symptoms. Anxiety comes to the point of misinterpretations and miscommunications (when verbally). There are many scenarios I am wondering why he/she leave the room of the event or group conversation. Other times I wonder why their facial expressions are not reflective of mine. These scenarios do not make me uncomfortable, but it makes me feel less confident of the social situation. I am not sure of the able bodied perspectives on these scenarios, but I am happy to review on this.

Lets be together and make assertions

I am hoping the world come together and become as one. I understand there are many disabilities as seen complex issues to the able bodied world, but we also see you all complex as well because of misinterpretations and miscommunication situations. But don't get me wrong on this, it is no one fault. People are far more likely to resolve the conflicts and apologise or make faith. I am happy to learn from my mistakes, at the same time improve understanding of social scenarios. This is more positive and proactive approach to create an assertive, social environment between diversities. I am always wondering what's on the minds of able bodied people think that disabilities can be cured and these people can overcome these challenges by their selves? I am afraid to say this, this is not a case.


We need to build trust and faith in someone, for instance, where there is no accessibility for a person in a wheelchair to see a movie. People are mostly forgotten the core aspect of the differences. This is the most common mistake from the perceptions of the mainstream society when everything is expected to be 'normal'. Unfortunately, there is no normal. But we all can make the world to be normal if we create a safe environment for everyone, with their differences. Working samples are very difficult, I am also in your situation as well when how I try to engage in conversation with someone with different forms of communication. Observably I have often seen people become impatient towards a person with a stutter or with cerebral palsy. I am not sure why being patient is a case here?

In conclusion, I am not expecting everyone to fully understand these above mentioned scenarios from my life but I am hoping for solidarity. Is it a very nice and positive way to think everyone needs and their importance for inclusion in the society? I enjoy situations when I observe positive moments with other people, like a helping hand. I am looking forward to learn more from your perspectives!