When I grew up, I have been greatly inspired by so many role models that shaped my mind. Mozart, Galileo, Einstein, Mandela, Obama, Temple Grandin, Bob Marley and other passionate well known people. We have shaped the world today by brilliant and bright minded people. I am one scientist, a postgraduate student in environmental management enjoying making the world to be more sustainable, and work together as in one globe sharing our problems and inspire children about the enjoyment of life.
When I was a young boy, I spent so much time on imagining things. I set up a mini city out of legos pretending in reality with toy cars. I also drew a lot of imaginative environments. I rarely spend time outside my world of imagination. This greatly reflects on who I am today. I love thinking, visually and express them towards to a sustainable world. I draw, write and express about globalisation of all world's problems to be solved. During high school and early university years, I struggled in writing because of my influence from hearing loss, which that slowed down my communication skills when I grew up.
Writing are best expressions for me today where I learned that my friends and other bloggers can read helps themselves to be inspired and learn new things. In reality, when communicating with my family and friends it can be difficult at times. My mind, in a very different pattern is actually reflects on their confusion and misinterpretation. I believe there are two realities in the world, upon these reflections:
1. Socially inept world with no intelligence
2. Intelligent world with no social skills
We all cannot balance these two things together, because if we focus on creation and support there will be no social pattern. However, we can alleviate the problems of miscommunication and misinterpretation by mentoring. Mentoring is a great way for myself to learn social skills through friends. I could not live with the world without family and friends. Everyone, no matter if they have ASD or not. We are all require learning skills, at stages through our lives. I find myself in more intelligent and talented world. This is what I am being told by lot of people, including strangers. My quirks can be confusing to the non ASD minds, because I express myself differently to a same point.
I have come across to a lot of banters and denials from people I met in my life of why I actually require effective social skills to be employed and making friends. It is extremely unfair for a person, with talents and intelligence to be left out of the opportunities. The world before disabilities and diversity awareness from the mid 1990's, there were so many famous people who created the world we have today.
Emerson, Derain [the painter], Degas [the painter], Caravaggio [the
painter], Charles Dickens, most of the Beatles, Beethoven, Canova,
Thomas Carlyle, Henri Cross, Henri Corbin, Leonardo da Vinci, Max Ernst,
Escher, Gauss, Lennart Green [the magician on this site], William
Hazlitt, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Victor Hugo, Jim Carrey, Paul Kammerer,
Paul Klee, Krishnamurti, Ernst Mach, Millais, Modigliani, Robert Monroe,
Edvard Munch, Nietzsche, Max Planck, Henri Poincare, Joseph Priestley,
Rubens, John Ruskin, Saint Saens, Sting, Tchaikovsky, Thoreau, W B Yeats......and many more who you may think who have done great things are far more likely have ASD.
Famously, Einstein, Tesla and Mozart also have ASD if they are diagnosed today. So, in today's world. Bill Gates, Temple Grandin and Jim Carrey are current idols also have ASD. They are inspiring people, but at the same time is socially accepted because their gifts is rewarding the world in a better place. Bill Gates gave you computers.
I feel like I am in a same situation. Whether I am going through young age of life working on the pathway where I seek opportunities for my enjoy inspiring more people about environment and sustainability. I am really hopeful I have come across to more acceptance that will make my world go around. For myself, being happy, want to set an example to inspire the reality of my life with uniqueness inspire younger generations. I want to live in a sustainable world, help and support sustainable development initiatives, get married and have a family of my own and that. These are my values, reflects on my positive energy and excitement to what I am enjoying myself intelligently.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Values to overcome negativity
Over last couple of weeks I have been down to anxiety and depression. Why I am feeling this? There are downtimes of my Asperger traits faces so many challenges from the mainstream society where that not everyone totally understands my quirks. Of course everyone in the world experiences negativity from the external impacts especially name calling, stereotypes, social exclusion and rejections. I have experienced this on a larger demand due to different quirks in less comparable to my friends. The way how I approach people is different than what you expect from the non-aspies.
I have learn so much from the non-aspie world including from the circles of friends where they have listened my expressions and share experiences of our feelings. It is a wonderful experience for me to listen my friends who have been through their lives. This made think of what is going on. This is not all about myself as being one. I am not the only one with these experiences. In May (2015), I was recommended to join a Meetup group to meet new people outside of my university to meet a group of people who have similar life experiences. These people I met are truly amazing, as I believe the world is not negative after all.
When I expressed my feelings and shared my perspective of living with Aspergers to my friends, they were happily listening my experiences and determine to understand where I am coming from. This is a greatest opportunity for an aspie person to learn the NT perspective where we can overcome the social miscommunication. I spent my entire life on trying to find ways how to overcome my social anxiety, miscommunication scenarios and negativity - just until more recently where I started to express my feelings and listened to my friends. I am proudly developed new values of assertion and people's listening skills by learning my friends' experiences and perspectives. I find this is a way to get out of negativity trap where I spent living with it for past 5-6 years. The initial strategy that convinced me to do this is I learned that there are many people out there in the world, including my friend circles experiences same problems on the struggles of finding close friends, relationships, and social chances. Most of the Gen-Y experiences anxiety and depression, in addition to sucidial thoughts and other blame game as a common misconception I have been through this, and this has alerted me that some of my friends as well.
This has stopped me from doing anything to myself and to other people. I waited for an opportunity to overcome this by sharing experiences with friends. Their expressions has reflected on my experiences. I have been through negativity of not finding a girlfriend and wanting to be socially included. My previous approaches determined was desperate, or you may think it just a wrong way of doing it. My friends pointed this out critically and this also stopped from me doing the same strategy.
I have found myself in love, after several compliments from my friends saying I have a great and living in a positive life. Showing that I am doing better than most people (not trying to be on the top of the world from this point!). This reflected that I am going through the times that I am enjoying myself and doing things for myself before important things to come. The positive insights. It attracts people. It attracts potential and new opportunities. It also attracts of finding a relationship. Now I am not ashamed of myself living with disabilities and I want to convey that I am living with it in fully capable ways. The positive strategies has helped me to find what I want in life. Especially what I want in a women. I learned that she has to be good at social skills, where she would able to help me to improve on the scenarios, she would be understanding of perspectives and able to forgive my mistakes. I also recommended myself to meet a potential partner in the likes of those values are out in more sociable environment.
Remember, learning about yourself, doesn't matter if you have disabilities or what not, you are allowed to forgive errors and learn new opportunities. This is a way of learning about yourself, in terms of what values you have, in reflection of what values of your potential friends and partner. The world is not lonely as what you think. You got to be out there more often. Don't waste your time missing out on the opportunities. Life is about learning new things and also experiences different things. Use your life as an experience of everything.
I have learn so much from the non-aspie world including from the circles of friends where they have listened my expressions and share experiences of our feelings. It is a wonderful experience for me to listen my friends who have been through their lives. This made think of what is going on. This is not all about myself as being one. I am not the only one with these experiences. In May (2015), I was recommended to join a Meetup group to meet new people outside of my university to meet a group of people who have similar life experiences. These people I met are truly amazing, as I believe the world is not negative after all.
When I expressed my feelings and shared my perspective of living with Aspergers to my friends, they were happily listening my experiences and determine to understand where I am coming from. This is a greatest opportunity for an aspie person to learn the NT perspective where we can overcome the social miscommunication. I spent my entire life on trying to find ways how to overcome my social anxiety, miscommunication scenarios and negativity - just until more recently where I started to express my feelings and listened to my friends. I am proudly developed new values of assertion and people's listening skills by learning my friends' experiences and perspectives. I find this is a way to get out of negativity trap where I spent living with it for past 5-6 years. The initial strategy that convinced me to do this is I learned that there are many people out there in the world, including my friend circles experiences same problems on the struggles of finding close friends, relationships, and social chances. Most of the Gen-Y experiences anxiety and depression, in addition to sucidial thoughts and other blame game as a common misconception I have been through this, and this has alerted me that some of my friends as well.
This has stopped me from doing anything to myself and to other people. I waited for an opportunity to overcome this by sharing experiences with friends. Their expressions has reflected on my experiences. I have been through negativity of not finding a girlfriend and wanting to be socially included. My previous approaches determined was desperate, or you may think it just a wrong way of doing it. My friends pointed this out critically and this also stopped from me doing the same strategy.
I have found myself in love, after several compliments from my friends saying I have a great and living in a positive life. Showing that I am doing better than most people (not trying to be on the top of the world from this point!). This reflected that I am going through the times that I am enjoying myself and doing things for myself before important things to come. The positive insights. It attracts people. It attracts potential and new opportunities. It also attracts of finding a relationship. Now I am not ashamed of myself living with disabilities and I want to convey that I am living with it in fully capable ways. The positive strategies has helped me to find what I want in life. Especially what I want in a women. I learned that she has to be good at social skills, where she would able to help me to improve on the scenarios, she would be understanding of perspectives and able to forgive my mistakes. I also recommended myself to meet a potential partner in the likes of those values are out in more sociable environment.
Remember, learning about yourself, doesn't matter if you have disabilities or what not, you are allowed to forgive errors and learn new opportunities. This is a way of learning about yourself, in terms of what values you have, in reflection of what values of your potential friends and partner. The world is not lonely as what you think. You got to be out there more often. Don't waste your time missing out on the opportunities. Life is about learning new things and also experiences different things. Use your life as an experience of everything.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Not knowing that I misread cues
If you are reading this, just bear with me I am a little down while trying to express myself. Please respect that.
There were hundred of social situations I been that I did not know that I misread the social cues. It is a problem that I do not know of it. It seems that its causing all of my family and friends blaming on me because I totally ruin their social moods because I did not know that I misread the social cues. How I suppose to know if I am reading the situation clearly before I get upset when I do not know I am making a mistake or making a fool of myself?
After reading several threads on Wrong Planet forums website (for people with ASD). I seen so many threads stating that guys having same problem with me. They are being turned down on social meetings, one-on-one meeting with women, failed to read the current reality of the social situations and being upset that someone point at them that they are doing something is wrong which being offensive to non ASD people. By knowing this its upsets me because it seems I have been making a fool of myself for whole life without knowing the social situations I play part.
There are few people told me that from their perspective is that I am socially confident. They meant that I hug women, being out of comfort zone so many times and talk to strangers upfront without anxiety. Unfortunately after I realised that I have been misreading the social situations/cues during the time I am being confident, this eventually made me to become anxious. I have developed this in past two weeks because it hurts me a lot when I realise that I am not fully capable to read situations.
I don't care I have disabilities when I'm socially confident, but now being labeled wrong and pointed out I am doing all the wrong things. I don't know what all of my family and friends think of me while I am being socialising but at the end of the day I am being told I read the situation wrong. I really do want to enjoy my life without using my disabilities into the context, but upon reflection of other people confusion and misintepretations made me to use it because they make a big deal of a problem where I spoil happy situations. I fear of my anger and sadness ruins someone mood.
Here are some true life examples of what happened from my view that why it is happening:
Are women turning me down from postponing, cancelling, or not responding for a first meet up? I don't know what is going on here, but in my life it happens to every single time when I initiate interest or make a development of friendship and whatever from there. I read this familiar topic on Wrong Planet forum website, there are so many ASD guys being victimised of this situation. So, what is going on here? Absolutely no idea, so do they say do not know why and what causing this. From my perspective, as being a typical male human being it is natural to make a move or initiate something. But I don't know what I did is wrong, even to the point misreading the situation when I didn't know I was misreading the situation at the same time. I really want to know the answers from the non ASD female's perspectives to explain to me why they are doing this, especially in a reoccurring scenario. I find my age rather surprising to see how immature I am in this situation. I believe this is a concerning assumption from the female perspective seeing me in a creepy or stalking way to invade their spaces or their lives. This comes across a wrong way because I wasn't intentionally stalking or making anyone uncomfortable. I thought I was friendly and want to make a move? I don't know where this accusations comes from?
Missing out on social events is another situation that I am frustrated with. Many friends want me to not focus on their movements to what social events they are going especially similar interests as I would like to go too. I am very uncomfortable of going to a social event where I do not know anyone in same place. It becomes a death trap challenge where I would like to meet someone new to talk to and make a move by friendship or relationships. Especially of similar interests, I would rather to be comfortable being with friends that knows me at the similar interest event or scenario. I don't know what my friends' perspective on me of going by myself and getting in rather uncomfortable situation. I used to step out of my comfort zone many times especially in the past year, but more recently I started to become anxious since that I have been accused of being socially retarded, self centred and seeing people walking away from me while I am in the circle. I cannot read this social situations of why this is causing a problem. That why I became uncomfortable. I am very 110% sure that other ASD people are familiar to this situation it because there are like 1 in a million of people totally understands me. It is extremely rare to come across a person who socially understands me. Going places and that I love to go and do things I want is something I wish to be confident for myself.
So what I have learned from my Group 4 Health workshops at my university lately is the difference of a person's health and wellbeing between having a high social connection to a low social connection. The image from the workbook is below.
This image is rather scary and daunting to me. Looking at my current life situation I am in between the low and high social connection. Why I am feeling this? I have social anxiety as it is part of my disabilities. Also it the people are not wholly or fully accepting of who I am since they easily miscommunicate and misinterpret me. But the bright side is that I have more friends that what I used to have in my life. This is rather challenging. I wish everyone understand me and other ASD people about having these challenges. I don't want to live on a shorter life nor getting involved with alcohol and drugs. I know that I am smarter than this. I want a thriving life that I really do know I am having it. Sometimes I thought I do but tends to get me confused because of ongoing miscommunication and misinterpretations between myself and the friends.
I have expressed myself many times to everyone I know for a while. It seems rather emotionally draining to everyone who is listening to me and giving me advices. I think this is an issue where that I realised they do not fully understand my life perspective of why I am feeling this. Been going to counselors and psychologists for many years. I have worked on myself to improve my wellness through awareness. Though I am there. But it just lacking of two way traffic between myself and everyone else because of clarity issues.
Like many people in the world always wanted a high social connection life where reading and using effective social skills is easy. But it is complicated, I do know that. Probably not as good as my writing and speech which is being impaired by my disabilities. My apologises if you didn't understand this journal article.
There were hundred of social situations I been that I did not know that I misread the social cues. It is a problem that I do not know of it. It seems that its causing all of my family and friends blaming on me because I totally ruin their social moods because I did not know that I misread the social cues. How I suppose to know if I am reading the situation clearly before I get upset when I do not know I am making a mistake or making a fool of myself?
After reading several threads on Wrong Planet forums website (for people with ASD). I seen so many threads stating that guys having same problem with me. They are being turned down on social meetings, one-on-one meeting with women, failed to read the current reality of the social situations and being upset that someone point at them that they are doing something is wrong which being offensive to non ASD people. By knowing this its upsets me because it seems I have been making a fool of myself for whole life without knowing the social situations I play part.
There are few people told me that from their perspective is that I am socially confident. They meant that I hug women, being out of comfort zone so many times and talk to strangers upfront without anxiety. Unfortunately after I realised that I have been misreading the social situations/cues during the time I am being confident, this eventually made me to become anxious. I have developed this in past two weeks because it hurts me a lot when I realise that I am not fully capable to read situations.
I don't care I have disabilities when I'm socially confident, but now being labeled wrong and pointed out I am doing all the wrong things. I don't know what all of my family and friends think of me while I am being socialising but at the end of the day I am being told I read the situation wrong. I really do want to enjoy my life without using my disabilities into the context, but upon reflection of other people confusion and misintepretations made me to use it because they make a big deal of a problem where I spoil happy situations. I fear of my anger and sadness ruins someone mood.
Here are some true life examples of what happened from my view that why it is happening:
Are women turning me down from postponing, cancelling, or not responding for a first meet up? I don't know what is going on here, but in my life it happens to every single time when I initiate interest or make a development of friendship and whatever from there. I read this familiar topic on Wrong Planet forum website, there are so many ASD guys being victimised of this situation. So, what is going on here? Absolutely no idea, so do they say do not know why and what causing this. From my perspective, as being a typical male human being it is natural to make a move or initiate something. But I don't know what I did is wrong, even to the point misreading the situation when I didn't know I was misreading the situation at the same time. I really want to know the answers from the non ASD female's perspectives to explain to me why they are doing this, especially in a reoccurring scenario. I find my age rather surprising to see how immature I am in this situation. I believe this is a concerning assumption from the female perspective seeing me in a creepy or stalking way to invade their spaces or their lives. This comes across a wrong way because I wasn't intentionally stalking or making anyone uncomfortable. I thought I was friendly and want to make a move? I don't know where this accusations comes from?
Missing out on social events is another situation that I am frustrated with. Many friends want me to not focus on their movements to what social events they are going especially similar interests as I would like to go too. I am very uncomfortable of going to a social event where I do not know anyone in same place. It becomes a death trap challenge where I would like to meet someone new to talk to and make a move by friendship or relationships. Especially of similar interests, I would rather to be comfortable being with friends that knows me at the similar interest event or scenario. I don't know what my friends' perspective on me of going by myself and getting in rather uncomfortable situation. I used to step out of my comfort zone many times especially in the past year, but more recently I started to become anxious since that I have been accused of being socially retarded, self centred and seeing people walking away from me while I am in the circle. I cannot read this social situations of why this is causing a problem. That why I became uncomfortable. I am very 110% sure that other ASD people are familiar to this situation it because there are like 1 in a million of people totally understands me. It is extremely rare to come across a person who socially understands me. Going places and that I love to go and do things I want is something I wish to be confident for myself.
So what I have learned from my Group 4 Health workshops at my university lately is the difference of a person's health and wellbeing between having a high social connection to a low social connection. The image from the workbook is below.
I have expressed myself many times to everyone I know for a while. It seems rather emotionally draining to everyone who is listening to me and giving me advices. I think this is an issue where that I realised they do not fully understand my life perspective of why I am feeling this. Been going to counselors and psychologists for many years. I have worked on myself to improve my wellness through awareness. Though I am there. But it just lacking of two way traffic between myself and everyone else because of clarity issues.
Like many people in the world always wanted a high social connection life where reading and using effective social skills is easy. But it is complicated, I do know that. Probably not as good as my writing and speech which is being impaired by my disabilities. My apologises if you didn't understand this journal article.
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