I am not saying I don't have friends. I have learned over the years there are different kinds of friendships. People intentionally say they are your friends who doesn't talk or get along with you, and others who contact you to get together. My life of making and maintaining friends is really difficult because being on the Autism spectrum, with hearing loss the conversations and body language is difficult to read and listen.
Not many people on ASD have friends like who are without it. Why? It about perspectives here. Many times I said that I missed out learning communication and social skills when I was young, it supposed to help me to understand the social environment and ability to communicate at the same level. I disregarded my challenges, because I am just being different. It is a common sense saying that everyone is being different in general society but people have lack of empathy towards people who are really different. The ways how to speak and behave is how people react so easily. They tend to get uncomfortable really quickly because of making assumptions as they think the behaviour is about to harm them.
Unfortunately I experienced this for whole life. I struggled to make and keep friends because I understand the people who I met have no ability to understand me. It is the times I mostly ask my friends to hang out, but not usually in balanced way. I find this is one way friendship because I was expecting someone to say hello and ask me to hang out or chat with me. I waited, and waited. Then eventually lead to one way friendship because I realised they are too busy with something else. I may be appear off standish in conversations and that, but I find it offensive when people say that I do, or react to a scenario where people tend to suddenly leave the situation. It took me down hard because the reflection of my behaviour is critising the way who I am.
Despite hearing loss challenges in the conversations I tend to miss out a lot of verbal stances, but being on the Autism spectrum I am missing out the nonverbal signals. It conflicting each others. It makes me confusing my friends and the people who I meet because my language is different. I learned the way how I live very differently than everyone expects we supposed to be a same. Like same school curriculum.
If I should be free to learn how to communicate and read social situations like non Autistic people who are able to though they should be available and accepting to let me to learn. Unfortunately sticking to counselors and psychologists it does not improve my situation. I have been doing this for 7 years, soon to be 8 years. Consequently why this so? They are not the people where I am being at the social environment to analyse my situation, unlike where my friends and the people I met are in present. Learning the theory does not make life easier on the practical side. Friends, and people who are willingly to get along with me should and suppose to understand me. I must learn the skills from friends. Not the professionals.
After I spoken to several people who have ASD, they agreed with me that making friends is so difficult. Our needs, emotionally should make an ability to find friends and have potential relationship. Unfortunately Autistics struggle to have this opportunity in reflection to the current society there are lack of empathy towards Autistic people who wanted to have friends, and relationships. We won't have an opportunity to thrive and enjoy life like non ASD people we must be reconsidered to be accepted as being different. I wish I have friends, and a relationship.
