Over last couple of weeks I have been down to anxiety and depression. Why I am feeling this? There are downtimes of my Asperger traits faces so many challenges from the mainstream society where that not everyone totally understands my quirks. Of course everyone in the world experiences negativity from the external impacts especially name calling, stereotypes, social exclusion and rejections. I have experienced this on a larger demand due to different quirks in less comparable to my friends. The way how I approach people is different than what you expect from the non-aspies.
I have learn so much from the non-aspie world including from the circles of friends where they have listened my expressions and share experiences of our feelings. It is a wonderful experience for me to listen my friends who have been through their lives. This made think of what is going on. This is not all about myself as being one. I am not the only one with these experiences. In May (2015), I was recommended to join a Meetup group to meet new people outside of my university to meet a group of people who have similar life experiences. These people I met are truly amazing, as I believe the world is not negative after all.
When I expressed my feelings and shared my perspective of living with Aspergers to my friends, they were happily listening my experiences and determine to understand where I am coming from. This is a greatest opportunity for an aspie person to learn the NT perspective where we can overcome the social miscommunication. I spent my entire life on trying to find ways how to overcome my social anxiety, miscommunication scenarios and negativity - just until more recently where I started to express my feelings and listened to my friends. I am proudly developed new values of assertion and people's listening skills by learning my friends' experiences and perspectives. I find this is a way to get out of negativity trap where I spent living with it for past 5-6 years. The initial strategy that convinced me to do this is I learned that there are many people out there in the world, including my friend circles experiences same problems on the struggles of finding close friends, relationships, and social chances. Most of the Gen-Y experiences anxiety and depression, in addition to sucidial thoughts and other blame game as a common misconception I have been through this, and this has alerted me that some of my friends as well.
This has stopped me from doing anything to myself and to other people. I waited for an opportunity to overcome this by sharing experiences with friends. Their expressions has reflected on my experiences. I have been through negativity of not finding a girlfriend and wanting to be socially included. My previous approaches determined was desperate, or you may think it just a wrong way of doing it. My friends pointed this out critically and this also stopped from me doing the same strategy.
I have found myself in love, after several compliments from my friends saying I have a great and living in a positive life. Showing that I am doing better than most people (not trying to be on the top of the world from this point!). This reflected that I am going through the times that I am enjoying myself and doing things for myself before important things to come. The positive insights. It attracts people. It attracts potential and new opportunities. It also attracts of finding a relationship. Now I am not ashamed of myself living with disabilities and I want to convey that I am living with it in fully capable ways. The positive strategies has helped me to find what I want in life. Especially what I want in a women. I learned that she has to be good at social skills, where she would able to help me to improve on the scenarios, she would be understanding of perspectives and able to forgive my mistakes. I also recommended myself to meet a potential partner in the likes of those values are out in more sociable environment.
Remember, learning about yourself, doesn't matter if you have disabilities or what not, you are allowed to forgive errors and learn new opportunities. This is a way of learning about yourself, in terms of what values you have, in reflection of what values of your potential friends and partner. The world is not lonely as what you think. You got to be out there more often. Don't waste your time missing out on the opportunities. Life is about learning new things and also experiences different things. Use your life as an experience of everything.
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