Depression, anxiety and stress is one of common factors plays in a typical Aspie lifestyle. Why? There is way too much pressure in language, social and environmental barriers between an Aspie and able-bodied perspectives.
I am battling through these scenarios. I have sought to give up on many things which seem I LOVED to do that would be successful to me. Why I give up? I cannot handle too much pressure from able bodied people's perspective because they kept pushing and shoving me my opportunities away. The way how able bodied people communicates with me is very scary because I can sense negative attitude by the way how they react and respond to me.
As a result, I have left many social groups and stop talking to people whose does not bothered to contact me again. It is every day I face these issues. But, I am also certain that some able bodied people feels a same as well as Aspies. The problem is, how people can behave better in their own way before communicating with me so I won't feel depressive again? No one will know how to find a solution.
I don't like wasting my time and on one specific thing at a time because it dragging my positivism down by what I am hoping to be successful. I tend to work so hard and experience tiring efforts being a successful person everyday whilst finding something that I wanted to do. The longer I spend trying hard on something, the more chances I tend to give up hope about it because I haven't recieved any positive results from it. Why I have to spend too much time trying things whilst negative results kept coming to me? Aspies like me do not like negative things. I am on two sides facing negative things - one is spending too much time trying for one specific thing, and two is getting a rejection at first time.
I think the problem is how able bodied people understand how I feel about this. They seem so effortlessly and uncertain of how to help. I am curious about this because they have fully functional brain and its' capable to understand everything, even more things than Aspies do. Like what I have spoken in previous blog entry, 'Am I hungry for a change?', I am seeking change in able bodied's attitudes towards me so they tend to be helpful towards me.
Most days I kept searching and searching whilst being positive for things I ENJOY the most that makes me feel happier and helps me to forget about negative things. Lot of friends (maybe some are not really friends) reject me with assumptions (but some have good reasonings) to hang out with me. The more the person reject me is the less I be confident to speak with. This drags me down a lot. My depression gets worse after a while when spending time to find a solution to over come this. I have same issue with finding employment as well. I used to constantly searching jobs, nowadays after getting rejected a lot is the lesser I spend time applying jobs. My confidence drags down a lot because rejections and losing hope does not provide opportunities.
Aspies like me feel like have nothing to do, and have no solution to find ways to over come problems. Able bodied's people world are easily influence our (Aspies) way of life. I am not happy to say this it is not on for the way how able bodied people treat Aspies like this. I rights to be myself like you unless able bodied people accept the way how I feel and want to seek change. It is an unfortunate that depression does negatively effect on friendships because it lets their confidence down on opportunities to provide me. But they do aware that I have no opportunities to experience since all of the rejections in the first place?
Its' up for able bodied people to say to provide opportunities for Aspies (the ones who have no life and depression) to give chance to live life. You may face a life sentence.
Hey Matt. An old friend here.
ReplyDeleteUltimately, even as "able bodied people", We too suffer from much alienation, judgment & etc. especially when we choose to live in a way that is different from the masses. Fact is this, do not let other people and how they relate with you affect your goals in life. You must have faith in yourself, and your ability to change the world. Constantly work hard towards your goals without giving up, do not let other people drag you down. Feed your own fuel for your internal fire, and use it to push through adversity. Life is a challenge, some more challenging than others, but the harder the fight, the greater the reward. Don't let adversity hold you down. Continue to fight for what you believe in, and let the injustice in the world fuel your energy to pursue something greater for the benefit for human kind, both aspies and "able bodied people" alike.
Go for it. Keep your head high, and meditate on the things you can do, not the things you can't, or the things you think you don't have. We are all given many great gifts to offer the world.
Cheers!